


Ascension and Healing (And People Making a Habit of Unconcsiously Following TommyInnit)

by honeyandraspberrytea



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Wings, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avian Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), BAMF TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Domestic Fluff, Everyone goes through whiplash at Tommy being a prince, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I would rate it Gen but given that it's about Tommy there's a lot of swearing, Light Angst, Mumza - Freeform, Mumza gets her revenge, Prince Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Prince TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Prince Wilbur Soot, Resurrected Wilbur Soot, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Take canon. Throw it out the window. Rifle through its pockets for spare change., This is Tommy-centric but it's not going to seem like it at first, Tommy gets a revenge kingdom, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, but it is I promise, but it turns out okay I promise, it's just a royalty AU with hella worldbuilding because I decided to say fuck canon babey, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, they work it out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-27 00:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyandraspberrytea/pseuds/honeyandraspberrytea
Summary: After being exiled, betrayed, ridiculed, and hurt one too many times, Tommy finally decided to go back to the only place he knows he’ll always be welcome.Home.Two years later, when a stupid oversight leads to the SMP finding him again, they won’t believe who the kid they broke became.Or, SBI was the ruling royal family of the Antarctic Empire before one by one they grew restless and came to the SMP. Tommy returned home. Eventually, like always, everyone else followed. Because god forbid they leave him alone.(Also the SBI all have wings because I said so)
Relationships: Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 138
Kudos: 1026





	1. Home. (Whatever the hell that actually means)

**Author's Note:**

> I want you to very carefully ignore most of canon for me, okay? But also don't completely ignore canon in the places where it benefits the story. Just go with the flow. This is also loosely based off of some things from Earth SMP, (The Antarctic Empire) but you don't need to know about it because again. Loosely.
> 
> Also this is set right after Doomsday, so no prison or Tommy death or anything for you.
> 
> I just like Royalty AU's and I don't think there's enough of them. 
> 
> Also,,,, not enough fics with Kristin

Tommy didn’t have a clue what to do after doomsday. 

The discs were gone, Tubbo didn’t trust him, his eldest brother hated him (but what else is new), Wil was still dead and Ghostbur was a sorry consolation prize, and his dad all but disowned him.

And with whatever the hell was happening with the egg, there weren’t even any kind people left on the server. If they weren’t already his enemy before, the corruption of the egg meant that they certainly were now. There was nothing left of the land of excitement and adventure and _freedom_ that he and Wilbur had left the Empire for in the first place. And there were no people left to make him stay.

Only an idiot would stay in Dream’s kingdom, where he could continue to be manipulated and abused.

So he went home. What else was he supposed to do?

The Antarctic Empire is situated on the south pole of the planet. It snowed ten months of the year, and was dark 24 hours a day for two. 

The Grand Palace he and his brothers grew up in is made of marble so polished, it appeared to be made of the same ice that surrounded it. The sweeping grounds and towering turrets meant cold and isolation for some, but for Tommy, it just meant home.

And home meant _magic_. The second he crossed into the northern border of the Empire, he felt all the precautionary wards wash over him, and suddenly the biting chill of the antarctic winds were gone. 

He had forgotten about the magic. 

When he and Wil had first crossed the border, to go explore as far from the walls of the castle as they could get, it was the first thing they noticed. They felt empty. Something that had always been with them, for their whole lives was suddenly gone. But they pushed on, and the magic of the unknown filled that hole well enough.

How had he forgotten about the magic? It seeped through him, and the ache in his wings that had been omnipresent since the first disc war was suddenly lifted.

And now that he was back, in the warm hug that was the magic of the Empire, he doesn’t know how he and Wilbur (and dad and Techno, when they decided to follow them) could possibly have standed to leave. 

Some of the memories from before were painful, now, but he shook them out of his head and headed towards the capital. When he reached it, St. Malo was just as wonderful as he remembered. 

None of the merchants in the city recognized him, although he didn’t expect them to. It had been years and Tommy was a very different person. Plus he didn’t venture into the city much, when he was a kid. Once he got settled in, he’d make it his mission to interact with the common folk more.

_Assuming they’d let him stay._

Tommy winced. Of course they’d let him stay. It was his mum and his uncle. They wouldn’t kick him out. At least he didn’t think they would.

As he ventured over the mountains past the citadel, the castle’s highest tower came into view. Then the upper stories, and then the grand entrance, and then the sweeping grounds, and all Tommy could think about was what it was like growing up here. He wasn’t even in the castle yet, and still recalled the memories that she liked to bring up every now and then.

He peered into the window that he knew looked into the library, and was reminded of Techno spending hours with him in there when Tommy was little, teaching him about any topic Tommy could possibly ask about. And if his big brother didn’t know the answer, he would spend ages with Tommy on his shoulders, scouring the shelves for a book that did. (And there certainly was one in their never-ending labyrinth of literature.)

The ballroom had huge windows with a terrace that looked over the cliffs of the Antarctic Sea, and Tommy imagined he and Wilbur sliding around in their socks after the maids had waxed the floors. They’d crash into the fancy candelabras and marble busts and giggle as they tried to escape their dad’s wrath. And Wilbur would drag him up to any of the towers with a view and play him music on his guitar when Tommy’s piano lessons got too hard, or he was bored with his tutor, or frustrated by the lack of sun, or sad.

The window looking into the royal bedroom was on the side of the castle that Tommy couldn’t see from his vantage point, but he still could picture it. Mum and dad, sitting in their big big bed, big enough to hold the two of them, plus all of their sons, with their wings spread out, with room to spare. And mum and dad would preen their feathers as they listened to their boys talk about their days, how Techno had sparred with their military commander and had got “ _so close_ to beating him dad, you should have seen it!”, and how Wilbur had gone to play his newest song for all the children in the village, and Tommy had gone exploring with Tubbo and the two of them had found not one but _three_ flowers and plants that had never been seen that far south before. And inevitably, they’d all fall asleep in their parents laps and have sore wings in the morning, but still not regret spending the night in a makeshift nest with their flock.

And he could picture his mum and Wisp and Deo and Kara and Pete and Calvin and the Captain sitting around their grand table in the war room, planning strategy and keeping their country safe.

And then he was bursting through the doors, and the guards were astonished because _no one could get past the wards of the city if the castle didn’t want them to, how did this kid get in here? And Tommy was frankly offended that Allison didn’t recognize him, given that she was stationed outside his bedroom at least once a week for 12 years._

But then he didn’t _have_ to imagine the residents of the castle because suddenly they were right in front of him.

And his mum enveloped him into the tightest hug Tommy had ever received, and the rest of them welcomed him home with open arms and didn’t ask him about what happened while he was gone. 

(Except, of course, for the Captain, who asked about Tubbo, as his son hadn’t sent him a letter in quite some time and the man was halfway to packing his bags and making sure he was still breathing. Tommy told him that Tubbo had a little city called Snowchester, and was doing fine as far as he knew, but that he hadn’t actually seen him in some time. And then Jordan asked what happened to L’Manburg, and that’s when Tommy went back up to his room.)

And Wisp, who was extremely reluctant to take up the mantle of Emperor when Phil left to chase his children in the first place, happily gave Tommy’s room back to him, with the promise that as soon as he was old enough, his crown and his rightful position as Emperor would be restored as well.

(Not that Tommy had any desire at all to be King. It seemed that his mum and Wisp had it perfectly under control while his brothers and his father were gone, but Tommy knew Wisp was loyal to the country before all else, and would never keep his title as King if there was a direct descendant of the Watson bloodline available, so he didn’t argue too much)

And that was that. Tommy was home. He was happy.

A year passed, then two, and sure he missed his friends, Tubbo and Ranboo, and even people who weren’t his friends anymore, Niki and Jack Manifold and even Bad when he was feeling nostalgic. And yes, he missed his brothers and his father more than anything in the world, (despite all the dirty laundry between them) but he was home.

And he didn’t even mourn leaving his stupid discs, the ones that started this whole mess, because the only reason he even cared about them in the first place was because the music represented his and Wilbur’s discovery and reminded him of home. But now his country was gone and he _was_ home. He had any disc he could possibly want to listen to at his fingertips, including old recordings of songs Wilbur wrote when they were kids. And he could listen to Mellohi whenever he wanted and think about Wilbur and Tubbo and the failed experiment that was L’Manburg. And he could play his discs without ever looking over his shoulder, wondering if Dream would steal them. 

He could sit on a bench on any of the familiar towers and pretend that Tubbo was sat next to him as he watched the sun set. (Miles away, on the opposite side of the globe, Tubbo did the same in Snowchester, watching the sun turn the snow pretty colors and wishing his best friend was beside him.)

The months passed, and Wisp and his mum taught him how to run the country the way Phil never did (too busy teaching Techno to teach Tommy and Wil), and Pete and Calvin sparred with him until Tommy could knock them flat on their ass every time, and the Captain told him stories about him and his brothers and Tubbo from when they were kids, and Kara filled him in on what had happened to the country in his absence, and his mum held him while he sobbed, mourning his brother, and crying and screaming about what he had done to make his two favorite people in the world side with his abuser.

And Tommy healed.

The magic of the Antarctic and the warmth of the people within its walls healed his wounds. His wings regrew the strength they needed to actually pick up his body off the ground, and Tommy slowly began to forget about his brothers’ betrayals, about his father’s willingness to side with Dream, about Dream’s abuse. 

Well. Not forget. But move on.

And as he grew into his always-too-long limbs, and his always-too-loud voice, and his sense of humor, and his throne, he began to lead his country with grace. The way Phil did. And Phil’s mum before him, and her mum before her, and her dad before her. As the last born, Tommy’s birthright was never the throne, but nevertheless he carried on his family’s legacy as just and merciful, but powerful and unyielding, rulers.

Of course, as always, something had to fuck it up.

-=+=-

Calvin would swear on his fucking life that when he instructed the palace scribe to send invitations to Tommy’s coronation to every nearby kingdom, commonwealth, and country, he specifically said to ignore Dream’s lands and everything in it. But obviously not, considering the situation Calvin found himself in currently.

Fucking great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this story planned out quite a bit, so I'll just be posting what I have every few days until it runs out, and then updates will probably be slightly more sparse.
> 
> I hope you like it :)


	2. A mildly concerning letter.

Techno received the news that someone was dethroning Wisp twelve days before Tommy’s 18th birthday. Not that he was counting down the days until Tommy’s birthday. It’s not like he cared. It’s not like they were going to celebrate, what with Tommy having not been seen for two years.

They knew he was still alive. As far as he knew, Tubbo’s compass still worked, which meant that there still had to be someone for it to point to. And as annoying as his dumb brother was, Techno knew he’s probably fine on his own. If there was one thing Tommy knew how to do, it was survive.

But no one went after him. The kid was honestly more trouble than he was worth most of the time, and he wanted to be alone anyway. And even if he missed them, god knows his disgraced anarchist older brother was the last person he wanted to see. 

Tubbo had gotten close to going after him, a few weeks after Tommy had left. He had packed his bags and everything. But then everyone got a not-so-friendly letter telling them not to try to find him if they knew what was good for them. And Tubbo was so heartbroken and angry that he listened. And everyone followed his lead. If Tommy’s best friend in the whole world wouldn’t go to him, neither would anyone else.

But even though he constantly remained in the back of his mind, Techno wasn’t actually thinking about Tommy at all when he heard the news.

He threw the letter on the coffee table that Phil and Wilbur were curled around. The domestic sight made him slightly crazy. The cabin was a stupid facsimile of the life they had before they came to Dream’s territory, a puzzle of a perfect family with a corner piece missing. Phil was there, the ever comforting presence of their dad. Wil was alive, brought back to life by some psycho-plan-gone-wrong by an increasingly unstable Dream. That was important. But their mom was a million miles away and the glue that was their baby brother was as good as dead, in their minds.

Both of the occupants, Phil in his recliner and Wil curled up on the couch, startled at the noise it made when the letter came in contact with the wood.

“Read this. Both of you.”

Phil looked up from his book with a twinkle in his eye at Techno’s antics, not understanding the gravity of the letter now between them.

“What’s up, Tech?”

“Just read it.”

Phil leaned forward in his chair, and Wilbur unconsciously did the same. He picked up the letter and ran his finger over the wax seal. He gasped, and made eye contact with Techno.

“But this is…” Techno nodded.

Wilbur’s eyebrows creased. “But that’s the seal of the palace...” Techno nodded again.

_To the residents of the Cabin Near SMP-_

_You are cordially invited to the coronation of the new Emperor of the Antarctic, and the celebration of a new era, one of peace, prosperity, and compassion. Please join us for a ball on the 10th of April to rejoice our new king and reintroduce the Antarctic Empire to the world at large. For the first time in nearly a decade, the Empire has made the decision to open up our vast country of wealth to the world, and we invite you to the capital of the country with the hope that you will do the same._

_Please bring this letter to grant you entry to the palace and access to your rooms, should you choose to stay the night to escape the Antarctic night and discuss a trade relationship in the morning._

_To our Emperor, and the prosperity of our country,  
Calvin  
Senior Coordinator of the Palace_

Techno took the letter from Phil’s hands and looked at the man.

“Someone overthrew Wisp back home, and I have no idea what to do about it.” 

Phil’s eyes looked hollow, and he didn’t seem to truly process what Technoblade had said.

“Wisp would never give up the throne. He didn’t want to be king, but he loves the country too much. He wouldn’t abandon our people.”

“I know, dad.”

“That’s why we put him in charge!”

“I know, dad.”

“He wouldn’t have ever given up the throne willingly!”

“I know.”

Wil finally stood up, after remaining silent throughout the exchange. “So what do we do about it?”

And as it dawned on the three men just precisely what the letter meant for them, their communicators buzzed simultaneously.

_[From: Tubbo] Did you three happen to receive a letter in the post today?_

Wilbur’s eyes bulged, and Techno went to reply.

_[From: Technoblade] Depends. Did you?_

_[From: Tubbo] I did. And as much as I wish I didn’t, I have a feeling I’ll need your help_

_[From: Technoblade] That sounds like a horrible idea_

_[From: Tubbo] Do you have any better ideas?_  
_[From: Tubbo] I guess you would_  
_[From: Tubbo] You’re the one with experience overthrowing governments_

Techno looked at Phil and Wilbur, who both nodded, encouraging him to answer. Techno sighed.

“You do realize that going to Tubbo and the rest of the SMP for help is almost certainly a death wish, don’t you?”

Wilbur’s eyebrows knit together. “You heard the kid. Unless you have any better ideas, conferring with the rest of the SMP about how to go about staging a coup is probably our only option.”

Phil stared at his sons and made a sour face. “When did this happen to us? We got a mildly concerning letter and our first thought is ’overthrow the government’? We aren’t even sure that anything is wrong!” Phil looked indignant, standing between his sons now, his weight completely on his cane. 

“It’s our country, dad. It’s our home! What are we supposed to do?” 

“I’m not saying we shouldn’t do anything, Wilbur. God knows I’ve abandoned my country for too long for that. But we cannot dive head first into a potential uprising when we don’t have a clue as to what’s actually going on.”

Techno sat in his chair, and drew the others eyes to him. “Dad’s right, Wil. We have to learn more about the situation before we start plotting.” 

“Thank you, Tech”

“But Wil’s also right. No matter what we do, we have to meet with the rest of the SMP. Best case scenario, there’s nothing horribly wrong, Wisp is unwell, and either Jordan or Calvin is taking over for Wisp as the next closest descendants to the throne. In that case, we can’t have the SMP go to create trade relations without us there to mediate. Chances are Jordan would go and give them a far better deal than they deserve. And with the Empire and the SMP combined, they could do whatever they wanted to us. We’d be dead men walking,” he said, pausing to sigh heavily. “Worst case scenario, there was a government takeover, and we need to stage a revolution. If that’s the case, we’re going to need as much help as we can get. Tubbo, with all his knowledge of the castle and the city, is probably the best we could do.” 

“So we have to see them?”

“So we have to see them.”

Techno looked around the room to get confirmation. They nodded, albeit reluctantly.

_[From: Technoblade] Where are we meeting?_

_[From: Tubbo] Village._  
[From: Tubbo] Near Snowchester  
[From: Tubbo] No weapons. Neutral ground 

_[From: Technoblade] We’ll be there at dawn._

-=+=-

The village near Snowchester granted them use of their town hall, which was spacious for them but not nearly large enough for the party that had gathered there.

As it turns out, Sapnap, George, the Badlands, and all of the former residents of L’Manburg had gotten their own letters. Niki, in particular, was staring at Techno and Phil and Wil with _murder_ in her eyes.

So the entirety of the residents of Dream’s lands, (except of course, the man himself, who was locked away where no one would ever find him) were gathered around a too-small table discussing strategy. Well. Currently they were all engaged in an awkward silence, but. They were _going_ to be talking strategy.

Sapnap, who, if Techno had to guess, was probably the most out of the loop, spoke up first.

“What even _is_ the Antarctic Empire, and why is it important enough to bring together a room full of people who hate each other?”

Tubbo looked up at Techno for guidance on how to proceed. Not that he would listen. The pink haired bitch was a traitor and he hated him. But when it came to the Antarctic, suddenly he was seven again, looking up to his best friend’s older brother whenever something went wrong enough that he didn’t want to tell an adult. But then he realized how stupid of a thought that was, and so just as Technoblade began to speak, Tubbo answered.

“The Antarctic Empire is the largest on the planet. It’s on the South pole. It’s where Phil, Techno, Wilbur, and I are from.”

Wilbur, who had spent every moment since he got here in silence, avoiding Niki’s gaze and staring at his feet, spoke up. “And Tommy.”

Tubbo flinched. Wilbur assumed it was because he forgot. He had no idea why the thought of Tommy really hurt.

“Yes. And Tommy”

Sapnap scoffed. “That can’t be it. What, your hometown is under new management? It happens all the time. That’s not strong enough to drive all of us here in the same room. There’s something else.”

“It’s my kingdom.”

Everyone turned towards Philza in the corner. 

“I am the Emperor of the Antarctic. Techno, Tommy, and Wil are its princes. Tubbo is the son of our chief strategist and head of our army. We all have a very- a very vested interest in what’s happening in the palace.”

It was silent.

A beat passed, then two, until Phil spoke up again.

“When Techno and I followed Tommy and Wil and Tubbo out here to help with the aftermath of the election, I left the kingdom in the hands of my wife and my cousin Wisp. They’re completely loyal to the country, which means they’re in significant danger if someone’s overthrown the government,” he said, and everyone could see the exhaustion in his wings and the amount he weighed on his cane. “The people and country we care about most in this world could be in danger.”

Techno cleared his throat, noticing his dad’s hesitancy to continue and some of the occupants' boredom. “And the Antarctic has always had a policy of isolation. Not opening up to trade deals means no foreign policy means minimal war. It’s one of the reasons the Empire has stayed around, in the hands of our family, for generations. Even if there’s not really anything wrong, we still need to understand what they’re doing. And if the reasons for opening up make sense, then you’d all be smart to establish yourselves as a trading partner. The Antarctic has wealth beyond anything you’ve ever seen.”

Sapnap, George, and Jack Manifold leaned forwards in their seats. Though they weren’t invested in the personal aspect of the mission they’re potentially going to set out to do, the idea of riches solidified their involvement. After the destruction of the egg, and the number of resources they’d spent containing it and rebuilding their decimated countries, money sounded pretty good right now.

And just like that, with far less discussion than there should have been, they had a party.

Phil, Wilbur, Techno and Tubbo, obviously.

Ranboo as moral support for Tubbo.

George and Sapnap to explore the idea of a trade relationship.

Niki for god knows why (given that she despised all the people involved).

BadBoyHalo. Skeppy. Jack Manifold. Fundy. Quackity. Karl. Sam. Eret. Puffy.

Tubbo looked at everyone who agreed to come and nodded with an air of finality. “You’re all going to need a good coat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dialogue is hard. writing technoblade is hard. I think I'm happy with it anyway. Comments really do make my day if you're up for that. If not, that's chill.
> 
> thank you so much for all the positive response to this omg. I just wrote it for myself I wasn't expecting anyone to be super invested in it aaaaaa


	3. The other shoe drops. (A few not-so-nice revelations)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day how cool

They really got down to business after the people who decided against coming with them left. 

Phil sat at the head of the table they were conferring at, with Techno on his right side and Wilbur on his left. There was a look on his face that only Tubbo had ever seen before, and when he looked like that, it was suddenly a lot easier to imagine him as a king, and his sons as princes.

Despite Philza’s kingly aura, it was Tubbo who spoke up first.

“The first thing you all need to know is that the Antarctic is not at all like here.”

Techno snorted from his place at Phil’s right hand. “I think that is a gross oversimplification, Bee Boy.”

Tubbo glared. “Well I was _trying_ to ease them into it! What did _you_ want me to say, Technoblade? Our home country has more magic in a square inch of its land than exists in this entire region? Oh and by the way, the castle is sentient and stubborn and probably won’t like any of you, and also we all have hybrid characteristics that we’ve been hiding from you since we came here?”

Techno got a manic grin on his face. “Not how I would’ve phrased it, but sure, I guess that gets the point across well enough,” he said, as Tubbo’s head dropped onto the table when he realized what he’d said.

While most of the room had some varying level of wariness or confusion, Ranboo’s entire face lit up. “Tubbo, you’re a hybrid?”

Tubbo looked up from where he’d laid his head in his folded arms on the table. He nodded, and pushed his fluffy hair back to reveal tiny horns.

“You’re a ram! Just like Schlatt! How come you never _told_ me,” he gasped, and Tubbo’s eyes narrowed.

“Ooh, you’ve done it now, Ranboo,” Wilbur said from his place across the table.

Tubbo fumed. “I am _not_ a ram, Ranboo! And I’m not like Jschlatt at all! How dare you?”

Techno rolled his eyes. “In his defense, goat boy, it’s a normal assumption. He’s only ever seen sheep hybrids around here." He gestured to Puffy. "How the hell was he supposed to know?”

Tubbo flopped back into his seat, mumbling about goats and rams and stupid ex-president dictators.

But then Ranboo’s happy dazed expression turned slightly sour. “But you’re 18! An adult by human standards, and definitely one by goat standards,” he started. “How are your horns not fully grown in?”

Tubbo once again found himself looking for Phil and Techno for guidance. He made a mental note to stop doing that, though he doubted it would actually work. People in trouble go searching for answers in their king. But Phil wasn’t Tubbo’s king anymore. He wasn’t even his best friend's dad anymore. He needed to stop looking at Phil like he’d actually help him. He wouldn’t. Tubbo didn’t want him to.

But then Phil _did_ help him.

“Hybrids are much more common in the Empire because of the abundance of magic there. That being said, they’re a little more used to having the magic in the air to help them along. Tubbo’s been away for so long, I don’t think his horns know what to do.”

Wilbur shifted in his seat.

“Neither do my wings.”

All eyes were on Wilbur, now, especially Niki’s.

“I haven’t been able to fly since a few months after Tommy and I arrived,” he started, as he shifted off his oversized yellow jumper and turned around. He was wearing a backless shirt, and wings much too large to have feasibly been hidden under his jumper unfurled. They were speckled brown, and sleek, and together they were twice as long as Wil was tall. They were longer than Phil’s, though Phil’s were fuller and bigger. Then he gestured towards his brother. “Go on,” he whispered, almost conspiratorially, “I showed them mine, now it’s your turn.”

Techno huffed out a “ _really?_ ” before shrugging off his cape. Techno’s wings weren’t as long as his brother’s or his father’s, but they seemed sturdier. The secondaries were a gory sort of red, as was fitting for someone who earned the moniker “The Blood God”, but his primaries were almost impossibly white. “I can’t fly anymore either,” Techno started, in a small voice that the imposing man didn’t seem capable of producing. Everyone in the room could tell by the state of his wings that they must have been of a huge amount of pride for him, moreso when he could actually use them. “Phil only can because he’s the King, and therefore in charge of all the magic in the kingdom, and so on some level it will always respond to him.”

“Except that I can’t,” Phil said, and somehow, eyes peeled away from Wilbur and Techno. Philza was leaning heavily on his cane. “For weeks now, I’ve been losing altitude. My wings feel heavy, like I can’t pick them up. I should have known something was going on with the Antarctic sooner.”

Now that they were looking at them, Philza’s wings did seem droopier than they’d ever been.

There was a beat, while everyone in the room had to decide whether or not to feel sorry for Phil.

But the moment was ruined when Tubbo cleared his throat from across the table.

“There’s something else,” he started, but then made no move to continue.

“I-”

Phil made a noise of encouragement that just seemed to make Tubbo clam up more. The silence returned. Finally, with watery eyes, Tubbo shook his head and reached into his bag. He slid something across the table.

“I should’ve known something was wrong sooner, too,” he said, as Technoblade caught the small object. “It happened a week ago and-”

“Tubbo, why didn’t you say anything?” Techno interrupted, voice somber, dangerously low.

If the boy’s eyes were misty earlier, he was crying now. “I didn’t know what to _do_! Suddenly I reached into my ender chest and it was broken! And it's not exactly like I could tell you! You and Phil would have shot me before I could open my mouth! And I tried to send a letter to Kristin, but no one would deliver it and I wasn’t- I wasn’t strong enough to tell her myself!” He tried to say more, but broke down into sobs and collapsed into Ranboo’s side. Niki and Bad both made a move to comfort him, then decided against it at the last minute. Ranboo winced as Tubbo’s tears burned him, but made no move to stop him.

Phil stood. “And what exactly did you have to tell my wife that was so urgent?” And Tubbo just cried harder. Wilbur grabbed the object out of Techno’s hands, since no one saw it fit to explain what was going on. He gasped.

An enchanted compass, engraved _Your Tommy_. The needle had fallen off and was resting against the inner casing.

“But this is your compass.” 

Tubbo nodded from his place buried in Ranboo’s shoulder, then ripped his head away from the enderman hybrid and turned, red-eyed, to Wilbur. “He’s dead!” he sobbed. “Tommy’s _fucking_ dead and I couldn’t even muster up the courage to send a letter to his mum to tell her! He’s dead because we left him out there on his own to die and now the Empire’s in danger and I should have known something was wrong and I _did_ but I didn’t know what to _do_!”

The room was silent. Though few around the table actually mourned his absence, Tommy being gone was very different than Tommy being _dead_. A tear rolled down Wilbur’s face as he processed what the broken compass meant. Techno and Phil didn’t cry, but the grief in their faces was clear. Everyone bowed their heads. _(Respected Tommy more in death than they ever did in life)_

“He might be fine Tubbo. There are things less permanent than death that can break enchantments, especially flimsy ones made here,” Phil said after the silence got to be too much to bear, although he didn’t quite sound like he believed his own words.

“But they weren’t made here,” Wilbur whispered.

Philza turned to his son.

“They were supposed to be a present from me to Tommy and Tubbo when we got here. All that time ago, when it was about exploration. Before it was about L’Manburg. But then everything just happened so fast. With the wars and the election, and then Pogtopia, it never seemed like the right time. But Ghostbur didn’t do nuance. He didn’t understand that I hadn’t given it to them for a reason. The compasses were made back home. They’re powerful magic, dad.”

“There’s not- not much that could break it,” Tubbo said, his voice cracking in the middle of his words.

The room was silent. Even having been gone for two years, Tommy was still a constant presence in their lives. They had to see remnants of his cobblestone towers, and people still told stories of him like he was still there. Even when he was gone he wasn’t really _gone_. He was too big of a presence to ever truly be _gone_ , too engraved in the stone that was these nations’ histories. But now he was.

Bad swallowed and stepped forward. “As crazy as the kid was, he didn’t deserve to die,” he said, looking around awkwardly. The demon hybrid was well aware he was probably one of the last people they expected to step forward. “And with all of this happening in such a short time frame, there’s no way his death wasn’t related to whatever’s going on in your country.” He paused, and Skeppy nudged his shoulder in encouragement. “And to be honest, Tommy didn’t deserve any of what we put him through. He made mistakes. Bad mistakes. Horrible decisions that cost a lot of people. But he was just a kid. None of us realized that,” he said, looking like he might join the number of criers at the table. “I think even if we don’t owe anything to this Antarctic Empire or whatever, we probably at least owe it to the kid.”

Puffy and Sam nodded, finally having someone to agree with what they’ve always known about Tommy.

Niki and Jack almost looked like they wanted to argue, but even they stayed silent.

Technoblade’s face was unreadable. (He’d come to terms with all the horrible things he and his father had done to his brother sometime after Wilbur came back and smacked some sense into them.) (Still didn’t go after him, though.)

Bad turned to Phil and his sons. “So what’s the game plan? I’m all in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go ahead and post this bc that last chapter was sort of a mean place to end off, and some of you had questions. Plus I have a few chapters lined up anyway so it's not like I'm stalling for time.
> 
> Tell me what you think! :0


	4. And so the journey begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you saw this chapter the first time I tried to upload it, no you didn't <3

Wilbur spread a map of the Empire on the table. (His love of geography and careful care of his maps finally came in handy.)

Techno pointed towards one side of the map. “We’re quite a ways northwest of even the northernmost part of the Empire,” Techno started, and then huffed at himself in annoyance. “Actually that’s an understatement, it’s literally on the opposite side of the globe, but that’s not the point. Assuming we go on horseback, since at the moment none of us can fly, and the way by sea will still be frozen-”

“Frozen?” George said, his questioning face clear even under his huge goggles. “It’s April, it has to be thawed enough for boats. Boats will be a quicker way, and easier to navigate. Even if it’s slightly more dangerous, we only have 11 days.”

Phil, Techno and Wil scoffed simultaneously.

“It snows in the Antarctic until June,” Wilbur said, giggling. “It doesn’t even get above -15 until the end of April. The sea’s a no go.”

“What about Sapnap’s fire magic?”

Sapnap’s eyes bulged, and he smacked George’s arm. “Dude! I am not powerful enough to keep -15 degree ice liquid for however long it takes to get a boat to this place. No chance.”

George shrugged, rubbing his arm.

But Phil’s eyes lit up. “That might change though, once we’re within the borders of the country. I think you’ll suddenly find yourself much more powerful, Sapnap.”

“Either way, Sapnap’s right. It’s not going to help us get there,” Techno huffed, not giving Sapnap time to process Phil’s words. “So horses it is. The journey on horseback is 7 days from here to the northern border, a day to the nearest city large enough for it to be safe to stop for supplies without being recognized, and another day to St. Malo if we’re pushing as fast as we can go. Including today, we have 11 days. Say we use today to gather our resources and leave at dawn tomorrow, that leaves us with 9 days of travel and a day of leeway should anything go wrong. Nothing should go wrong. The Empire is exceedingly safe, so once we cross its border, everything should be fine.” He looked at his dad. “Good plan?” Phil nodded.

“Once we reach the border, none of you lie about why you’re coming in. Our guards are very well known for being to sniff out the truth. Don’t tell the whole truth either though, obviously. You can say your real name, tell them that we’re coming back from a long trip to see the coronation. With enough luck, no one will question that our party looks suspiciously like the royal family. We’ll be wearing thick hoods and face coverings. I think it’ll be fine.”

“And when we get to the first city,” Wilbur started, “where we can stop for a break and for supplies, you’re going to be fairly on your own. There are too many people who would recognize me, Phil, and Techno. We’ll have to stay behind with the horses. But I think Tubbo looks different enough than he used to that he can probably stay with you. He knows the cities well. Stay with Tubbo. He’ll keep you safe.” Said boy gave an awkward smile.

“My dad is the head of the army. He knows the country like the back of his hand, so to an extent, I do too. Nothing can happen to you in the cities while you have me,” he said, oddly cheerful. The reminder that he was going to be back in the place he grew up seemed to have lifted his spirits. “And if we get to the capital before we actually need to be at the palace, I can show you around! St. Malo is beautiful in the springtime. The wards around the citadel mean that even in the freezing temperatures, flowers can still bloom, so there’s the constant peace of winter, but also some of the color of spring!”

Techno nodded once Tubbo finished speaking. “Other than being recognized by real life breathing people, we’re in no danger once we cross the border to the empire. Mobs aren’t as dangerous as they are here, don’t spawn as frequently, and the roads that lead around the country are well lit and protected by magic, so you don’t need to worry about that. Bandits are infrequent and more of a nuisance than anything else, so that should be fine too.”

The rest of the group nodded determinedly, and moved to leave to gather their things for the journey, but Wilbur stopped them.

“Hey. Before you leave, there’s more to talk about.” They stopped shuffling and sat back down.

“When we tell you the Antarctic is unlike anything you’ve ever seen, we mean it. It’s going to be an adjustment, especially for the hybrids. You’ll finally have enough magic around you to be powerful, and some of you already _are_ powerful. I’d prepare for your abilities going haywire for a bit.” 

“The first time I left the Antarctic and came back, I couldn’t stop headbutting people,” Tubbo laughed. “I couldn’t help it. Any time someone got close to me that I didn’t know well I just got uncontrollably angry.”

Wilbur smiled. “Tommy was with you on that trip. When he got back, he made a nest in his bed out of all our clothes and didn’t come out for _days_.” Tubbo laughed.

“No no no you forget, Wilbur. He came out to chirp at Phil and Kristin for food and drag us back into his nest with him to preen his feathers. And then he bit us when we tried to leave.”

Wilbur laughed, a more genuine sound than had come out of his mouth in ages. For a split second, everything was just the way it was before they came to this god forsaken place. But then the thought of Wilbur’s now dead baby brother turned sour and just like that, the moment ended, and the ensuing silence grew awkward. The smile slipped off Wilbur’s face, and he steeled his face into something more serious.

“Point being, it’s an adjustment. And those reactions were from people who had lived their whole lives up until then in the country, so who knows how you’ll all react,” he shuttered, bringing his wings closer to his body as if remembering what it’s like to adjust. “And even for the non-hybrids, it’ll feel weird. Like there’s too much oxygen in the air, or like you’re surrounded by an electric current. But whatever feels off, you have to ignore it, or at least get over it before we reach any of the villages or border outposts. If people in the cities realize you’re outsiders, word will spread to the palace faster than you can say ‘whoops’.”

Phil smirked. “Antarcticans have always been the biggest gossips.”

“And normally, that’d be fine. God knows Phil and Wilbur love to make an entrance.” Techno said, while the aforementioned men beamed almost proudly. “But at the moment, stealth is important. The guards at the border will log our entrance into the Empire, but if we don’t give them any reason to be suspicious, there’s no reason they’d alert the palace we’re coming. People are free to exit and enter the country as they like, and given how many people there are in the Empire, no one should know you aren’t from here if you don’t give them a reason to.”

The group nodded.

“One last thing. The palace.” Tubbo sucked in a pained breath at Wilbur’s words.

“Oh shit. The palace.”

Everyone sat up straighter, intrigued. _What was wrong with the palace?_

Wilbur gestured for Tubbo to explain.

“The palace,” Tubbo started, “will probably be the weirdest thing for you. The thing is, she’s alive.” Techno’s eyebrow arched and Tubbo quickly backtracked. “Not like literally alive and breathing, but she’s sentient. She’s the center of the magic that spreads throughout the country. Like how the egg spread bad things, she spreads good things.” Heads tilted in confusion. Tubbo groaned in frustration. “Point being, she has a habit of trying to fix everything she comes in contact with, which means she has a nasty habit of butting into your business.” 

That clarified exactly nothing.

“Wil, you explain. I don’t want to freak them out.” 

Wil huffed. “I can’t explain it any better than you can, Tubbo, but fine,” he pouted. “For example, technically- _physically_ , on the floor plan of the castle, Tommy’s room is in the Western wing of the castle, reserved for the royal family, and Tubbo’s is in the Southern wing, which is where all of the staff and their families reside. But if, for instance, Tommy and Tubbo had gotten into a huge fight, suddenly their rooms would conveniently be side by side so when they walked out to get dinner they’d have to see each other. And then the hallway would twist and turn and lock all the doors and not let them go to the dining room until they had worked it out.”

“The ghosts, Wil, don’t forget to tell them about the ghosts,” Tubbo whispered.

“Ghosts?” Sam questioned.

“I’m getting there, Tubbo, be patient!” Wilbur chastised. 

“They’re not actually ghosts,” he clarified, “but one of the ways the castle will try and fix your problems is by showing you memories. They look like ghosts. Apparitions. But they’re just things that happened in the past wherever you are that might help you realize something, or forgive someone, or cheer you up, or whatever she thinks will help you. Sometimes they’re advice from ancestors past or some deep shit like that, and sometimes they’re just the image of the person you’re mad at looking really guilty and sorry in a way they probably wouldn’t look if they knew you could see them. She usually only shows them when things are really bad, but given how emotional this has already gotten before we’ve even left, I have a feeling they’re going to be everywhere. You can wave your hand through them and they’ll disappear, but I’d advise against that, as that usually just makes the castle more stubborn to show you something. She’ll just try harder. You kind of just have to let her do her thing.”

There was a stagnant pause. Techno nodded. “That should be everything super important. Everything else we can fill you in on the way. When Tubbo said to bring a coat, he wasn’t kidding. Something heavy. If you live in Snowchester, bring your heaviest snow clothes and shoes and whatnot. If you have no snow stuff, we can stop in a village right before it gets cold that should be selling something nice and sturdy. I know there’s one on the way. Bring easily concealable weapons along with your real ones. The Antarctic has a fairly lenient tolerance on weapons, all things considered, but just in case. They’re usually confident enough in the wards around the castle to know if anyone with intent to hurt someone was let in, but if it really was a coup, the new rulers could believe differently. But in theory we should be able to walk in with swords strapped on our backs since we come with no ill intent to the Empire. Bring as much food and water as you can carry without weighing down your horse. A bedroll and blankets. Wil has maps, but we shouldn’t need them.”

He stopped, and everyone took that as their cue to leave and head back to their homes to gather supplies. But right before everyone left, they heard one more thing whispered from the pink-haired hybrid.

_“Thank you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go :)
> 
> Because I know you liked the writing style of the first chapter so much,,,,, next chapter you can have one (1) Tommy POV as a treat
> 
> also if ur curious, I called the capital St. Malo bc of the Saint-Malo Trials back during Earth SMP days, bc I thought it sounded cooler than the actual name of the capital lmao


	5. The (literal) ghosts of his past.

It was 5 days before Tommy was to be crowned king of his dad’s country, and Tommy was stressed. 

He never appreciated how intricate (and _annoying_ ) some of the palace rituals were before they started having to do with _him_. 

He had to make a formal announcement every time he left St. Malo. It had to be known that the Emperor was doing something important. Why anyone cared, Tommy had no idea. Also, it sounded like a good way to alert any enemies that both he and the castle weren’t as protected as they usually were. But supposedly it was to help the people make a connection with the monarch.

Technoblade told him about all the weird things people did to and for the Emperor, but Tommy hadn’t really believed him until recently.

Why was no one allowed to turn their back to him? Tommy thought that out of all the things his brother told him about becoming King, that _had_ to be the one he was bullshitting on. But no. That one was real. (Tommy would be changing that, do you know how much _awkward eye contact_ he’s had to hold in the past few months?)

He remembered that Phil had to speak with nobles of the lower town once a month as a way to keep peace with the aristocracy. He thought he was prepared to deal with that. He was, in fact, not. Techno always said he was going to do away with the greedy nobles once he was king, until he was reminded that his mum was one of those greedy nobles once. As of late though, Tommy had been seeing where he’d been coming from. It seemed that every last one of the nobles came to petition the king in order to raise prices on their grain (when there was no logical or necessary reason to do so) or charge a fee to allow merchants to cross through their land, or complain that Tommy had done away with forced servitude and demand that they be allowed to stop paying their workers. They were dumb manipulative rude sons of bitches and Tommy was constantly on the edge of strangling every last one of them. (The Captain told him he wasn’t allowed to do that.)

Kingly duties were exhausting on a normal day, but with his coronation approaching ( _official coronation_ , his mind corrected in a voice that sounded a lot like Wisp. _You’ve been King in all but name for more than half a year_ ), it seemed he was needed everywhere at once, and if everyone kept pulling in a different direction, he would snap.

He silently closed the door to the throne room, thanking his lucky stars that Wisp had decided to take over and hear their grievances. It wasn’t that Tommy minded talking to the locals, far from it. The common people in the city could never take up too much of his time. But the nobles. Different story.

Clearly the castle noticed his stress, as she sent him an apparition on his walk to the ballroom.

_It was Tommy’s dad, standing awkwardly in front of the door to the throne room as he awaited his crown, on his coronation day, only a little older than Tommy himself. His dad, Tommy’s grandad, was in front of him, straightening his jacket lapels._

_“I don’t think I can do this, dad.”_

_“Don’t be silly, my boy, of course you can.”_

_Phil was silent, looking towards the floor. His wingtips brushed the floor like he didn’t have the heart to pick them up._

_“How am I ever supposed to be like mum? How could I ever rule like she did?”_

Tommy understood the feeling. While he hadn’t looked up to his father as a person in years, and had finally started to realize that a good portion of what happened to him back in Dream’s region was his father’s fault, he was still a phenomenal king. And Tommy had already proven his uselessness at running a country once. He didn’t doubt the idea he might do it again.

_“Listen to me, Phil.”_

_He put his son’s face in his hands._

_“You aren’t going to lead exactly like your mother. No one is capable of that. You are going to lead like you. And you are going to make her so proud.”_

_“How can you know that? I’ll mess it up! I’m sure to mess it up! Why can’t you be king?”_

_He wiped a tear off his son’s face._

_“Because, my boy. You’re just like her. Just as caring for your people and compassionate, and steadfast. And I am not truly a Watson, Phil, I just married one. That means the castle and her magic and her people could never like me as much as they like you. It has to be you. But don’t worry. I’ll be here for you. Every step of the w-”_

Tommy walked through the ghost, and stared at the ceiling, as if the castle had eyes there.

“Thanks for reminding me, old girl, that my dad’s not here and I don’t have anyone supporting me. That’s so helpful. I really needed to be reminded of that right now.”

Someone cleared their throat from behind Tommy. He whipped around, smacking himself in the face with his wings. It was the queen.

“Mum! I didn't mean- I know you’re here! I just-”

Kristin smiled.

“You’re just still upset. I know, Toms.”

He ran to her and she wrapped him in her arms, stroking the place where his wings met his back.

“Come on. Let’s do something easier. Ballroom. We’ll make final decisions on flowers and streamers and tablecloth colors. Wisp and the Captain and Calvin can get the harder things together.”

The flowers were alliums and a breed of white tulips that were fond of the cold, the flowers of the Empire.

Streamers ended up various shades of blue, with silver accents, and the tablecloths were an almost white pale purple.

-=+=-

The castle always retired fairly early, nearly silent by the time Tommy was pacing the corridors. 

He did this most nights, hoping the castle would give him snippets of the past for him to dwell on. Maybe he missed the people he left behind more than he let on.

Sometimes it ended up being a terrible idea. The castle would show him something painful, he would throw something at the ghosts to make them go away, they’d show up again but somehow _worse_ , and the cycle would repeat until Tommy collapsed into sobs and fell asleep in a heap in whatever obscure corner of the castle he had wandered to.

He kept doing it, though. Going through the painful memories was worth the nice ones that came every once and a while, the ones that could let him pretend his family was still around him. Could let him pretend they still cared about him.

He was in the courtyard, and the castle must have had some shred of mercy, because she was being kind tonight.

The memories appeared in front of the huge central fountain.

_It was him and his brothers. Tommy looked about four, which means Wil and Techno must have been twelve or thirteen. Definitely not older than thirteen, since that’s when Techno died his hair pink._

_“Tech, if you jump in right now, I’ll do your chores for a month.”_

_“What?” A much smaller, non-pink haired Techno, with a much higher voice said. “You would not, Wil. I’m not stupid. I have to go to boring strategy meetings with dad. You’d never. Also, it’s freezing! Why would I- TOMMY!”_

_A tiny Tommy had jumped in the fountain._

Tommy laughed, the sound muffled behind his hand. He vaguely remembered this. It had been right after Wilbur and Techno had pleaded to their dad to let them take Tommy swimming in the hot springs. The answer had been a resounding no. “Four year olds can’t swim, boys, especially ones with wings to weigh them down, and _definitely_ not without adult supervision.” Tommy hadn’t liked that he wasn’t allowed to do something.

_Tommy had never swam before, and quickly began to struggle in the deeper-than-his-four-year-old-brain-realized water. Techno quickly unclasped his cape and jumped into the water. He grabbed Tommy and set him back on the ledge. Though the water only reached to his hips, when he dove for his toddler brother, he got soaked head to toe. He looked like a drowned cat. But Tommy was giggling._

_“Tommy, you can’t just do that!”_

_“Technoswim!” He babbled, clapping his hands together and flinging stray drops of water on his brother’s face. Techno grimaced._

_From his dry place outside the fountain, Wilbur guffawed. Techno frowned._

_“Why are you laughing, dipshit? Tommy could have drowned, and then you and I would be grounded for life!” Techno scolded, but Wilbur just laughed harder and pointed at his brother._

_“You look like a wet dog!”_

_“Yeah yeah yeah.” Techno grumbled, shaking out his hair and looking very much like the aforementioned dog. “At least get Tommy so he doesn’t try and jump back in.”_

_Wilbur started to oblige, but as soon as he got close enough to the fountain to grab his little brother, Techno shot up out of the fountain and dragged his twin down into the water._

_A water fight ensued, the twins splashing each other, and Tommy kicking water at the both of them from the sidelines._

Tommy laughed. When they’d gotten back into the palace and crawled into their parents’ bed for warmth, they’d gotten the lecture of their lives. Tommy still thought it was pretty worth it.

The spectres disappeared. Tommy was brought back to Earth. Where his brothers weren’t there to push in the fountain. And even if they were, he’d get a lot worse than splashed with water if he pushed them. Might get a black eye, if he was lucky.

He walked back to his room. Phil’s room. Apparently the transfer of the royal bedroom the week before the coronation was a big deal. The current monarch always had to have that specific room. Apparently the view of the country was the best, and the vantage point of the citadel was supposed to be symbolic of the Emperor’s care.

It was weird though, moving all of his parent’s stuff out of their room. His mum kept saying it was fine, that it was part of his coming-of-age, and that she didn’t care, but _Tommy_ cared. The room had nothing but good memories. Memories about _family_. Changing it felt wrong. Like he was ruining a piece of his childhood.

It was one of a number of customs that had to be done before Tommy could ascend to the throne. Some, like this one, he resented. But some made sense, he guessed. For instance, the ritual last week that cleared any bindings or enchantments on him was a safety thing. (Not that Tommy thought he had any spells on him, but he guessed he wouldn’t know if they were supposed to be harmful)

And Tommy fell into a fitful rest, completely unaware of a certain party from the SMP slowly trudging their way towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now,,,, you know why the compass broke,,,,, 
> 
> also as I write this I keep seeing opportunities for Pain and I keep having the debate of whether or not to do that to myself (and you guys lmao) and it is a Struggle to decide when Pain is Too Much Pain


	6. The blame game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my Tommy apologist really came out in this one but to be fair that was kinda the point

The trip to the Antarctic was relatively uneventful. They made decent time, only stopping before the border to get snow protection for those who had none.

But despite their speed, it was still a long way.

The silence got awkward, eventually.

Tubbo, from his place near the front of their caravan, side by side with Ranboo, was the first to break it since their stop for supplies, still a ways from the border and two days from the capital.

“Do you remember what your letters said?” Tubbo said, before he started to look like he regretted opening his mouth at all.

“The letters the palace sent us?” asked Skeppy from behind him.

“No,” Tubbo said, “the letters Tommy sent us. When he ran away. I’m trying to think of anything that might have hinted he was going back home. But all I can remember is him saying he was going to keep exploring, the way we meant to, way back when. That he was going to keep traveling the world so he never had to see one of our faces again. But if his death had to do with the Antarctic, that _has_ to mean he went back home, right?”

Techno made a gruff noise, but no one else moved to acknowledge that Tubbo had said anything.

“Because it might have been unrelated. And I don’t know what would be worse, finding out that Tommy was murdered because he decided to go home, or that he died not knowing his home was in danger.”

“Mine just said he was going to find somewhere he was truly wanted,” Sam said from the back of their party. “And I thought he might have gone back to the place he came from, at first, because he talked about the Antarctic all the time. But it also said that he had no idea where that was, and that he was going to have to find it.”

“Why wouldn’t he have gone home, though?” asked Karl, shaking his head. “If I didn’t feel safe, if I felt I had nowhere else to turn to, the first place I would go is back into my mom’s arms.”

Wilbur slowed his horse down to be part of the conversation.

“Tommy’s not like that, Karl. Don’t get me wrong, he was a momma’s boy through and through, but he didn’t much like the Empire. He was always too restless for it.”

“So you’re telling me, after all the shit we put him through back home, his mom wouldn’t’ve been the first person he wanted to see?” Sapnap said from his place beside Karl.

“No, I’m not saying that at all. In fact, I believe that probably _is_ the first place he went. What’s much harder to believe is that he _stayed_.” Wilbur huffed, like the thought of it was ridiculous. “Especially long enough to create enough enemies to have been _assassinated_.”

Tubbo played with his horse’s mane awkwardly. “It’s not that Tommy didn’t like the Empire, Karl. He _loved it_. The people, the nature, the palace, all of it. But he always felt so _trapped_. By the expectations placed on him because he was a prince, by the endless snow and long nights, by the walls around the country and the city and the palace. He was expected never to fly around the castle, because _princes were more dignified than that_ , and he wasn’t allowed to go to the city to interact with his people without a million guards. And he would always say ‘what’s the point of having wings if I’m not ever free enough to fly?’” Tubbo gulped, close to tears.

“And Tommy knew he’d never be king, and Wilbur knew he wouldn’t be either, and so when Tommy was old enough, they decided they wanted to explore. And Tommy was- _is_ my best friend, so of course I followed him. And we were just supposed to take a year or two to scour the globe for fun things and learn about the world other than from a book and pretend that we were merchants or pirates or bandits. And Wilbur would draw his maps to bring back to the Empire at the end of our adventure so that at least we could _justify_ our trip, and Tommy and I were going to learn what country had the best silk, and what plants from other places could help with sickness, and what animals were like in other places.”

“And so he might have gone home. He might have decided that adventure wasn’t for him, that he had tried and learned that he sucked at it and went home. But it’s equally likely, given how _fucking stubborn he is_ ,” Tubbo said, hiccupping, “that he was angry that he didn’t truly get to adventure and explore, and after making sure Queen Kristin knew he was alive, went right back out to try again, because god knows Tommy doesn’t know when to fucking quit.”

“Because Tommy just wanted his stupid drug van, when we came out here. Wanted to mess around with potions and be the kids we were never _really_ allowed to be. Tommy never wanted a country, he’s too much of a free spirit. He only ever fought so hard for L’Manburg because _Wilbur_ cared about L’Manburg, and Tommy would have done _anything_ to please him!”

“Stop it, Tubbo,” Techno said warningly from his place at the front of their line.

“It’s true! Tommy didn’t love L’Manburg, he loved _Wil_!”

“Don’t say something I’ll make you regret, kid.”

“And the only reason he cared about those _fucking_ discs is because they reminded him of the people he loved! Music in general reminded him of Wil, and Cat was what we’d all listen to on snowy days when we weren’t allowed to leave the palace, and Mellohi is what _you_ would play after a particularly rough battle, which was basically a flashing light to Tommy that you needed comfort, and he cherished them so much! Everything he did, he did for one of us! And some of you still call him selfish, but he was never selfish. Every one of the stupid pranks he pulled, he did to make me laugh, and he followed Wilbur throughout his madness after the election because he believed that his big brother could do no wrong, and he pretended to be fine after he died because he knew that Phil couldn’t deal with his own grief, let alone Tommy’s! And he betrayed you before the last explosion because he knew I needed help, and the one and only time Tommy decided to protect discs, the things he cared about, that were his and only his, the _only_ time he was _ever_ selfish, we all betrayed him!”

Techno yanked on Carl’s reins and turned to Tubbo with murder in his eyes. 

“Stop talking, Tubbo.”

He didn’t really need to. Tubbo was done yelling.

“And I told him they were just discs.” He said in the smallest voice, after Techno had turned back around. “I knew what they meant. What they symbolized. And I told him they didn’t matter. That they were just discs. And then I left him to Dream. I tore him away from us, and I left him alone. Being alone is the one thing Tommy’s never been able to stand. And I left him alone. To live in a tent, with a sorry excuse for a bed, exposed to the elements. To have all his things blown up every time he got them. So that he had to crawl away from there, half dead, and live in your basement like a fucking animal, stealing food and hoping you wouldn’t notice. Because we all failed him so much that he thought you wouldn’t help him. That you’d do worse than Dream did, if you found him. His big brother, his favorite person in the world, turned his worst nightmare.”

Techno just stared at him, shaking. At first glance it appeared to be anger, but Ranboo was close enough to see the single line tracking down his face.

“And now he’s dead. And if I-” a sob wracked through his body, interrupting him. “We could have stopped it. I could’ve made him stay- made him want to stay. I could’ve gone after him but now I can’t, because he’s gone.”

Minutes of silence passed.

“It’s not your fault, Tubbo-” Wilbur said, finally.

“Yes it is!”

“No-” Wilbur said firmly. “It’s not. Not yours, not Tommy’s, not Quackity’s or Jack’s or Niki’s or any of the teenagers. You were all just kids, fighting in wars that we put you in. Following orders. Doing what you felt was right. The blame falls only on the rest of our shoulders. I’m the one who picked a fight with Dream in the first place, stretching his patience by trying to fight for independence. I’m the one who dragged Tommy back into the war after the election. It’s my fault first and foremost. It’s Schlatt’s, for trying to exile a teenager from the country he loved for no reason. For trying to isolate him and then trying to force his best friend to hunt him down and murder him. It’s Techno’s and dad’s for not protecting him, for betraying him while I was gone, for letting him stay with Dream. But above everything else, it’s Dream’s fault. For making his country so unbearable to live in that we keep having civil wars. For manipulating children into fighting those wars. For abusing a child, making him run away. For everything else that green bastard has done. But it is _not_ your fault, Tubbo. You are just as blameless as Tommy is. You shouldn’t have had to make the decision between your best friend and your country. It should never have come to that, and even if it did, that decision should not have been your responsibility.”

Silence, until Techno spurred on Carl, back to the front of the line. “Come on. We’re almost to the border.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouch sorry my bad that chapter actually kinda hurt
> 
> also if I don't mention much dialogue between the rest of the people going to the Antarctic, it's because I figured you didn't want a million pages before we actually got to the story. that's why i didn't tag them, i didn't want anyone getting their hopes up that they were super important, but they are all there for a reason, so like,,,, there's that.
> 
> speaking of, the document at the moment is 74 pages long rn lmao
> 
> also when I checked this a few nights ago it was at 6669 hits and that's funny


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